These are some of the things I've learned over the last few years. A lot of them are generic and can apply to anyone. Others are specific to me and my situation. Take away what you find useful.

The 3 P's of Productivity:

The 4 Agreements:

The 5 Languages of Love:

Accountability formula:

  1. Stop
  2. Look
  3. Choose
  4. Vote
  5. DO IT!
  6. Step Left


Problem: The sense of unease that occurs when your beliefs do not match your actions.
False Solution: Obtain absolution (forgiveness by a disinterested 3rd party) and repeat your actions ad nauseum.
True Solution:Change either your actions or your beliefs.

Addiction Models:


There are no large or small agreements, only large and small consequences.

ask “What's Changed?”

I will ask “What's changed?” when I perceive repetitive complaining. The goal is to see if there are any expectations that can be met or to seek clarity that the person simply wants to be heard.

Authentic Listening:

Authentic Listening, How To:

Bradshaw Model:

Communication Styles:

Analytical Driver
Amiable Expressive

Elements of Addiction:

Family Purpose:

Our Family Purpose is to Hear, Love & Support each other.

Family Roles:

My Personal Values:


mnemonic: “FORMS”


Forgiveness is giving up all hope for a better past.

“I don't like what you are doing right now.”

Avoids labeling, avoids not liking the person, avoids generalization of duration.


  1. Purpose: answers the question Why?
  2. Vision: answers the question What will it look like?
  3. Energy: must either be Emotional or Physical energy to drive the process.
  4. Commitment: What is your level of commitment?
  5. Mechanism: How will you accomplish this? This is the least important question.

Levels of Commitment:


If I argue for my limitations, then I will have them!

Listenting Styles:

My Contract:

I am a Strong, Caring and Joyful man!

my new Number/Name:

I am a great communicator.

My Purpose:

I am teaching myself and others to Learn, Laugh, Love & Live.



These are the 5 basic needs. Everything else are merely wants.

Speech Acts:

There are no accidents.

What are my intentions?

Based on results, I have exactly what I intended.

What do I create?

What I create in Discovery is a mirror of what I create in my life.

What do I have?

I either have my reasons, stories and excuses OR I have the results I say I want!

What is learned?

That which is not acted upon is not learned.

What is the purpose of education?

The purpose of education is to unsettle the mind.

When can I grow?

Growth can only occur when I am uncomfortable.

Who runs the family?

In the absence of clear boundaries and reasonable rules which are consistently enforced then children—not parents—run the family.

Working choices:

I am producing the Results, Experiences, Relationships and Quality of life that enhance my life and life around me.
If I make choices that enhance my life, then those are Working Choices.
If I make any other choices, then those other choices will not enhance my life, and are thus Non Working Choices.

Evolution by Dove

"No wonder our perception of beaurty is distorted."